the power to turn retarted

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The power to enlarge your penis but only when you use a penis pump.

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THE POWER OF PEDOBEAR!!!!! but only when theres law enforcement around

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The power to exist

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The power to read minds, but only those of dead people.

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the ability to stay in the same place while running

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The power to suck your own dick but not when your horny

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The superpower to be able to blend in with trees when there are no trees in a 5 km radius

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The power to make everyday Christmas once a year

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The power to kill yourself, but revive at the same age only to find yourself in the other gender.

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The power to re-click a webpage over and over as long as it won't load

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The power to jump and fly for 1 second.

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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The power to pick your nose but you happen to be Lord Voldermot

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The power to make your girlfriend orgasm only when you are having sex with another man.

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The power to turn into a pebble

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The power to shit a blue agressive monkey.

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The power to make any object the most comfortable object ever, but only when no one is touching it!

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ability to run very fast forever

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The power to jump 1 centimeter higher than you usually can

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The power to get this. Do you get it?

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the power to steal 4 avocados in july at a supermarket at 9:37 am in your underpants without arms while a cop laughs at how stupid you look. plus while you do that a cute marshmallow comes and rapes your children.

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The power of turning on the lights without touching the switch but only when its daytime

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The power to change any text in sight from US to British spelling.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!