The power to have sex with yourself.

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The power to become black!

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The power to fly at 0.00000000000000001mm off of the ground at a speed of 1 mile per hour whenever you desperately need the toilet.

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The ability to put it in Lady Gaga's pooper.

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The ability to create ducks at will. - Amador Diaz

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The power to have any game you want for PS3 or Xbox 360, but only own a Nintendo 64.

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the power to be a wi-fi hot spot

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The power to be an artistic genius during a math test.

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The ability to find a squirrels nuts

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The power to be a bird that can't fly

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The power to beat bad ass kids without getting arrested!!!

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The ability to teleport.... 1 Centimeter from your current location, It also takes 5 hours to be able to teleport again.

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power to pass kidney stones at will

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To be able to commit a sexual offense but never get away with it

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Being alive (until you die).

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The power to turn a bear into a gopher.

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The ability to give yourself brain cancer at will

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The power to fly only when in contact with the ground

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The ability to pirate every song you want without getting caught. However, they can only be Justin Bieber songs

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The power to stick your head up your ass

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The power to STFU!

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The power of telepathy but only when you alone

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The power to get laid by your right hand.

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The ability to turn traffic lights red in your lane and green for everyone else

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!