The power to move 7% faster.

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the power to consume yourself and use it as food (dosn't remove pain and will cause medical condisions)

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My charms is my superpower, but damn I cant shut up after spending some quality time with the ladies! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! MY BODY WAS NOT READY! I feel like yelling out my real name, but you know, if you know me (I am easily recognizable) the girls I spend time with would feel like I am bragging about them, and I am not, I am simply celebrating my conquest, you see, you came, you saw... BUT I CONQUERED! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT Moral: Feel free to thumb this down, my superpowers need to be contained, or else I will beep my way to an early grave! Girls, mwah... and you know, just dodge the kiss if you cant handle love personified, they arent homing nor anything... Should I ask my doctor if she has any medications that will help me wire down after uh... Multiple female company? HAHAHAHAAAAAAH!... The thought made me kinda sad, im better, now just to prove to my company here that I got balls of steel, I am gonna post this and let you judge me all you want! BECAUSE YOU CANT HAVE EM!

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The power to burst into flames (Like the Human Torch), but immediately burn to death after doing so.

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The Power of Super Speed only when you climb a ladder

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The ability to see through womens clothes....but only if they weigh over 300 pounds.

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The ability to say "MISSING FINGERS" on Shitbrix.com

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The power to ask sarah jessica parker, "why the long face?"

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The ability to change the color of your poop

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The power to lick your own elbow

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el poder de leer "google" en cualquier idioma

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The power to cause slow people in front of you in the corridor to walk 3% faster

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The power to look TV

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The Power to bite your own ear.

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The power to deep throat a giraffe!

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The power to row 1 inch shorter but can't grow 1 inch taller

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The power to summon Pedobear and only if you are under 10.

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The AWESOME Power To See With Your Eyes Open

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The power to instantly make an accurate assessment on tomorrow's hangover probability well before you've consumed far more than the amount of alcohol which would guarantee it...and yet manage to forget sometimes you have this superpower.

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the power to turn wine into water.

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The power to commit geniocide but only of you own race

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the power to have a combination lock, and forget the code

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the ability to hav a gun but no bullets

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The power to sleep through a dream.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!