the power to eat sharp objects but you have to poop it whole

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The power to write about pointless superpowers.

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The power to make someone orgasm by looking at them, but only when you're having sex with them.

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a power to levitate something, but only if your 2 inches away

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The ability to turn invisible, but only when everyone in the room has their eyes closed.

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the ability to discern homophobic, racist, and mysoginistic posts on this site from the actually ok ones.. oh wait this is useful STOP BEING A JACKASS

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the power to think with your mind only

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x-ray vision but only through glass

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The ability to see WWE and think that this is real.

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The ability to see into the past at variable times between 1 and 30 seconds but be incapable of seeing the present.

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The power to go "flame on!" without fire immunity.

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Hat seduction. 'Nuff said.

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the power to be really itchy.

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The ability to float for half a second

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The ability to seduce women when there's no women in the room

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The power throw up hockey pucks every few minutes.

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The power to levitate for 10 seconds only when having explosive diarrhea

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The power to realize that at least half of the top ten "powers" are yours, and you don't know if you are proud or ashamed of having so little to do... On the bright side, you don't sign them like some other douches...

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the power to blind and nausiat yourself for 12 hours straight with no way to stop it ohh and the power the eat hairy dicks

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The power to have a blue, silhouetted body, and a trollface for a head.

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The power of 50% levitation your legs would drag along the ground

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The power to say things twice. The power to say things twice.

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The power to run slightly faster than Usain bolt

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The power to make spinach taste like brussel sprouts

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!