The power of slowing down your reflexes respond whenever you want.

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the power to to tell time at anytime you want when your sleeping

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The power to slap your buttcheeks together, then transform into a head of cabbage.

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The power to shit razor blades!!!!!!!!

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the power to be able to get pointless superpowers

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the power to die 10 minutes after reading this comment

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The Power to sit down only on chair made of knives.

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[insert pointless super powers here]

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The power to push a door that only pulls.

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The power to be impressed by Sham-Wow

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The power to die but once

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The power to transform into a 37 year old World of Warcraft playing virgin

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The power of being negative all the time.

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the power to kill someone if you shoot them in the heart

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The power to never receive pop-ups when surfing porn, but only on gay porn

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The power to have the biggest boner ever in the middle of a presentation.

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The power to turn Hydrogen Peroxide into water but only while you're using it to clean out your ears

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The Power to look mildly far away but only with something on your face to help you see

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The power to finish right before you start (If you know what I mean)

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The power to become severely depressed and suicidal whenever you feel the slight sensation of happiness.

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The power to die

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The power to go part way through walls

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Being able to breath in space but only when touching oxygen

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The ability to stretch your arm towards an object thats in a reachable distance then clench your hand around the object and pull it to yourself.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!