- Pointless Super Powers

The power to have super hearing but only works when you are dead.

The ability to make any amount of money appear in your wallet. The money is in the form of the Neptunarian Dollar, which has no value anywhere on Earth.

The ability to kill anyone, only if he/she is your close friend.

the power to be like charlie sheen and relize that my score is 0

The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

THe ability to see though walls but only when their glass.

The power to spontaneously grow a beard, except you lose hair from your head..... it also takes about a month.

Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

The power to be invisible but only in the dark.

power to age faster

The power to phase through walls whenever there is a door nearby leading to the next room

the power to hear and understand all living things within 100 meters but they cant understand you and you can never turn it off.

The power to misspell things when doing a captcha

the power to put your shoes on faster than you did before

Being able to not go to the bathroom...when you have to!

The ability to speak to deaf caterpillers

The power to put both socks on at the same time.

the power to watch porn thru your mind, but its gay porn only...

The power to be able to taste shit from miles away.

the power to make an earthquake that an ant can not even feel

The power to only make burnt toast

The power to hurt the people you love

The power to teleport homeless people to the sun

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!