the power to be able to call 2 people at once.

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The power to eat just 1 Lays potato chip

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The power to turn any dollar bill (1's, 5's, 10's etc.) and turn it into the amount of pennies equivalent to the bill.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

The power to turn on your Xbox without touching it but you need your controller.

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the power to have the remote come to you.

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The power to hear in the dark.

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the power to fire your bellybutton lint out of your navel at a speed of 3 miles per hour.

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the power to win any video game with your feet but only when intoxicated

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The power to autocorrect your mom.

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The power to attract bullets.

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the power to go thru anything but get stuck in it

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the power to uncontrolably shoot bananas out of your hands

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The power to have any computer in the world but it has to be before the 1990.

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De poverr too tipe relly shiiti annd stil bee undrstod bai rettadad peepols unly.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

The ability to have every possible thought as fast as the Flash is capable of moving and faster and know how every scenario can, will, and most likely will play out, yet you cannot say anything about them and they cannot be put to use. As well as no one can read your mind or anything similar to obtain said knowledge.

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the power to make a fart that kills people when no one is around you

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The power to be millionaire, but only when you have a million dollars.

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The power to have super hearing but only works when you are dead.

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The ability to make any amount of money appear in your wallet. The money is in the form of the Neptunarian Dollar, which has no value anywhere on Earth.

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The ability to kill anyone, only if he/she is your close friend.

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the power to be like charlie sheen and relize that my score is 0

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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THe ability to see though walls but only when their glass.

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The power to spontaneously grow a beard, except you lose hair from your head..... it also takes about a month.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!