The power to have perfect vision, but only in pitch black darkness

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The power to change any font after the paper is printed. But it turns to comic sans

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The power to have sex with anyone you like except human beings. -Shandric

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the power to write on cellophane

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The power to drink alcohol without getting drunk.

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The power to wish you had a power

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the ability to change the color of one eye if dehydrated nearly to the point of death

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The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

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Night vision that only works during the day

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the ability to fly through the sky using the skin from your ballsack to glide to the ground

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the power to eat when your hungry

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The power to be MAGNETO! And have the power to WELCOME TO DIE! You dare not WELCOME TO DIE? AHAHAH! X-CHICKEN!

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The power to cum everytime you see a women

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The ability to explode upon contact with glass.

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the power to melt your bones

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The power to throw Go stones to the board so that thei form the word 'Go'

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The power to date women if they say 'Yes' when you ask if they want to date.

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THE POWER TO POTENTIALLY HAVE A USELESS POWER ONLY WHILE READING USELESS WEBSITES ON MONDAY WHILE IT IS RAINING ON FIRE

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The power to shape shift, but only into yourself two inches taller.

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The power to extend your pinky toe

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The power to become a laptop forever!

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the power of being yourself

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The power to run on water when there is no water

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Be invincible...but only when you're NOT in danger.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!