The power to wake up to surprise sex in the morning... in prision.

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The power to have logs come out a tiny hole in your body. Oh wait... - SMC Digital

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the power to be FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!

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The power to have a 17% avoidance rate to stepping on lego bricks.

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The power to do something when you do it.

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The power to eat anything edible 0.25x quicker!!!!

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The power to transform every book, note or image on the television into illegal child porn simply by being near them.

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The power to laugh at things, but only if it's funny.

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The ability to abruptly end conversations.

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The power to give yourself a staticshock, every time you touch yourself.

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cry acid tears

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The ability to heat up an object by 1 degree for every week you hold it.

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The ability to create one iron nail. The power can only be used at 12:45 P:M every five days, and will only work if the nail you created previously has been destroyed and/or broken down to a state in which it would be unusable as a typical nail.

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The power to shoot 2 inches of artillery cable from your pinkie.

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The power to make a sound in the forest when nobody is around

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The power to make everyone yawn in the room when you yawn.

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The power to telepathically open umbrellas, only open and only umbrellas.

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the power to grow any one hair at any desirable lenght

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The ability to be blind, deaf, and mute at will.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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the power to become friends with your least favorite teacher on facebook.

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Strength to instantly kill anyone just by lightly tapping them, as long as they're physically stronger than you.

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The power to suck your own dick

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The power to become normal the point is he has no powers

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!