The ability to read my dogs' mind, while it humps my leg...

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The power to switch your eyeballs with your testicles but you still see out your eyes and your testicles are leaking.

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The power to shoot lasers out your eyes but the first time you do it it burns your eyes and you go blind

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the ability to drink a 40 oz. while playing madden

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Turning wine into water.

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The power to assasinate people with touch from your finger, while you are asleep.

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the power to become pointless

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to be able to eat any type of food, even indian food and then poop it out the next day

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The power to take offence to anything said or done like it matters...

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The ability to DO A BARREL ROLL

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The power to collect a interesting variety of ceramic animals.

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The power to grow fingernails just to cut them later

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The power to post on Facebook but only with an account.

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to spelle caretly

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The power to walk on water mixed with cornstarch and cesium.

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The ability to create very weak wifi with a 1000000 character password.

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The power to turn any plasma tv into ice with 3 times the mass

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The power to blame it on the Boogie

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The power to stop time, but it works only for yourself.

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to have the ability to fly and teleport at the same time.

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the power to move up floors or levels,but only in an elevator

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The power to make your dick a poontang seeker.

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The power to see through solid glass, water, and air.

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The power to magically create a shampoo bottle in your hands but only when you're on the toilet

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!