The powers to have super speed when you can't run anymore.

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The ability to know exactly where every Canadian penny within 5 feet of you is.

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Brazilian waxing via telepathy.

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The power to fall apart whenever touched. See Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls

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The power to spit fire only by drinking gas into a flame - Isaac goodall

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The power to burp where you fart, and fart where you burp.

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The power to appear in the center of the moon (in a hollow space) whenever you die.

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The power to turn red apples green over 15 days by eating them with a knife and fork....

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the ability to drink a 40 oz. while playing madden

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the power to cook sandwiches when married

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The power to survive a car crash only if it's between 9 and 9.30 am.

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The power to identify a senior citizen by looking at their naked butt.

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The power to blink a nano second slower

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The power to take a crap.

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the ability to get the chills when someone close to you has an erection.

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The power to see five times as clearly and up close, only when looking at insects and arachnids.

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the power to drive a car with no engine

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The power of love

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The power to instantly not be doing anything as long as you aren't doing anything beforehand.

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The ability to guess the reCAPTCHA words first try

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The power to have sex with jessica alba Only if you have Sex with Rosie O'Donnell with a ten inch penis

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the power to hemmorage or herniate any part of your body at will

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The ability to say "MISSING FINGERS" on Shitbrix.com

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The power to see through things like locked cabinets, wrapped birthday presents etc. But only if you know whats inside.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!