The power to STFU!

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The power to make cats ask for cheeseburgers in comically broken English

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The power to put water up my butt and squeeze and shitty water squirts out.

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the ability to have sex with a sand spur

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the ability to not hear or feel yourself pass gas that is abnormally loud.

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The power to waste time and sit around doing nothing and not helping society when you could be doing something productive

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The power to come up with pointless superpowers on a website about pointless superpowers.

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The ability to change languages after every word, but you can't not do so.

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The power to be dead

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The power to turn all people into giant robots which you don't control

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the power to be invisible but when you're alone

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The power to turn into a mouse when in full view of a hawk.

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the power to be powerless

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The power to eat anything, but always vomit 15 minutes later.

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----the power to hold your breath until your die-----

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the ability to talk like Bill Cosby

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The power to perfectly sing any song by Justin Bieber

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the power to-OMFG IT'S TAILS DOLL!

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the power of spontaneous combustion but only when you get an erection

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the ability to think you can fly

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The power to divide by 0

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The power to spawn shoes on your feet, only if you have no socks on.

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THE POWER TO KNOW WHEN YOUR CAPS LOCK IS ON

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The power to kill yourself to take out a criminal... except for the fact that when you kill yourself you literally might as well be throwing a marshmallow at someone.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!