The power to sense if an object is sharp.

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The power to continuously shoot extremely powerful lasers from your eyes unless they're closed or you wear special, unbelievably expensive glasses.

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the power to have the power to have the power to have the power to have the power to have the power to have...

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the ability to go the speed limit

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The power to fight Chuck Norris... and lose.

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The ability to teleport, but only into solid stone.

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The ability to have A's in all your classes, but only if you already have A's in all your classes.

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The power to possess every pointless superpower and be tasked with saving the world.

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The power to only be able to breath when you have absorbed the soul of a mythical dragon.

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the ability to fly through the sky using the skin from your ballsack to glide to the ground

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The power that will grant you no power.

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Invincibility, but you feel twice as much pain to everything

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The ability to perceive the presence of light.... with your ears. (warning, blindness may effect abilities potency.)

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The power to have an indestructible tongue.

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The left part of your body is fireproof but the right side is not

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The ability to breathe and swallow at the same time.

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The power to rain fireballs down upon those you love.

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Ability to shit nuclear waste

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the power to f**k your family all at once

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The power to fly, but you have to wee every 5 seconds.

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Expert level knowledge of the Kardashian lore

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The power to make apples into pennies one per day.

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Eclairvoiance: The ability to forsee when you will eat your next cream-filled, chocolate coated pastry...

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The ability to become sexually attractive to Killer Whales

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!