the power to sleep through a prison rape

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the ability to make your penis more sophistcated than yourself

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the power to lick your own tongue

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The power to block Chuck Norris' roundhose. it's pointless because everyone knows that nobody can block Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.

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The power to throw a Boomerang and it always hit your head.

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The power to have super speed but only when you're wearing tight leather pants.

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The power to be lazy and a normal human being. The Average Joe Power.

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the power to win any shit eating contest.

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The power to make your parents walk into your room whenever you're masturbating.

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The power to make objects slightly furry

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the power to teleport, but only in front of a tyrannosaurus rex.

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The power to float a centimeter above the ground.

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The power to taste food 3 seconds before they eat it.

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you can get lots of pussy, but their all severed

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The power to lose body parts by merely thinking about losing said parts coupled together with worry. I.e. I hope I don't lose my testicles.... Damn-it!!

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The power to survive jumping form a plane as long as you have a parachute.

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The power of turning to stone everyone who says to you "will u fancy a slightly racist T-shirt?"

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The ability to anticipate the release of half-life three. Sidenote: Goes hand in hand with the ability to bathe in your own tears.

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The power to read this.

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The ability to cut oneself on objects that shouldn't, in any respect, be sharp.

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The power to see white objects in off white.

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The power to realize that your personality is like a shithole.

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The ability to fire a gun with precision accuracy. But only if your the target

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The power to pee ants.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!