The power to teleport to anywhere in the known universe, but not be able to teleport back

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The power to make fish drown.

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The power to completely understand Monty Python sketches.

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To have your speed, strength, reflexes and senses heightened to the level of whatever is appropriate in your situation.

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The ability to break every bone in your body every second, then have super speed. You wouldn't be able to run.

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The power to fly at 0.00000000000000001mm off of the ground at a speed of 1 mile per hour whenever you desperately need the toilet.

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the power to turn into celebs that evryonr loves to write about only infront of 1 million people

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The power to control weather on Mars

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The power to not be moral man. Moral: Your thumbs down cant hurt me! Are you a fucking ass? IM THE MORAL MAN BITCH!

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The power to poop out you penis

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the ability to see one-half of a second into the future, but only activates while sneezing.

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the power to eat your cereal and milk with a knife

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The power to get off the internet and do something productive

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The power to turn cake into poop.

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The power to look at Chuck Norris. I dare you to try.

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The power to watch tv while sleeping

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The power to only sit down and not stand up.

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The power to stick your head up your ass

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The power to glow in rooms with reddish purple walls

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The power to date women if they say 'Yes' when you ask if they want to date.

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The power to flip people off with your middle toes.

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the ability to shoot a little steam cloud from your penis every time you finish peeing

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The power to hypnotize chickens

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THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!