The power to do 1d3 points of damage on successful touch attack twice a day assuming no spell resistance.

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the power to hear everything in sign language and see everything in braille

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The power to ejaculate only when you're greeting someone

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The power that, eveything you touch turns into whatever it already was

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The power to fly, but only when you're in water

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The power to fail hard at the catchphra (or whatever its called) simply because you keep answering garbage when it asks "what is the jummiest!" Moral: I work out hard dammit! I want muscles of steel! And Bananasplit contains banana (duh) which just binds fat and makes me look like a bodybuilder... (yes I did look like that and would eat garbage rather than banana, I mean most "family restaurant" foo out there is garbage) "Family restaurant" guide, because moral man loves you: Mc Donalds, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Burger King, and I really need fats and proteins to work out as hard as I do... I mean I am running on a uh.. stand still training bicycle thingie... too tired to look it up.

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The power to be able to hold your farts while you pee.

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The superpower to read a 2 pages of a book at once. Never mind... This is the BEST superpower in the world! [Insert troll face here]

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The power to not write pointless powers.

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the power to change the day to sunday at 5:59am

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The power to become a virgin but only if you've never had sex.

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The power to unravel the toilet-paper towards you.

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to be able to lift any weight of feathers

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The power to freeze ice

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The power of immortality, but only when you try to commit suicide.

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The power to turn int water when your in water.

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The power to shed hair

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The power to tell when someone last masturbated, but only by shaking their hand.

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The power to blow bubble with Tootsie Rolls.

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The power to tell what a person has eaten by the smell of their farts

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The power to stop time but if you do so you will also stop.

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The power to grow your fingernails .0001 centimeters a day

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The power to read someones mind.... After they have spoken what's on their mind.

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The power to become erect at the sight of a man's butthole, oh wait thats just liam flanagan

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!