the power to send future you crazy

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The Power to sit down only on chairs made of knives.

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The power to die, and you can only do it once.

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The power to open automated doors a few moments sooner than they would typically open.

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power to be the smartest creature in the universe but only 3 seconds a day

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The power to have any pussy you want but only to magically transform it into a small bloody hairy wrinkled dick with herpes and AIDS when you touch it and there is nothing you can do about it.

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the power to die at will

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The power to instantly reduce the sales price of an item to ten percent of the original but you must buy at least ten.

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The power to finish work instantly but only after the deadline

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The power to teleport yourself to the exact same location.

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The power to go to hell

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The ability to teleport into a wall

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the power to fart for ten straight seconds with one second in between each fart.:)

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to walk 5 miles at 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 miles per hour

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The power to waste time reading about pointless superpowers when you could be doing something productive.

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The power to predict when a door will unlock.

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The power to moonwalk, but only on the moon

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the power to get an erection in gym class while doing jumping jacks

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The power to see through doors once they are opened.

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The ability to read a doctor's handwriting

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a children's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The power to grow your pinkie toe to ten times its actual length, but only while your shoes are on.

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the power to talk to animals but only when it means stealing your ice cream

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The power to turn all of the air into a solid.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!