The power to lose body parts by merely thinking about losing said parts coupled together with worry. I.e. I hope I don't lose my testicles.... Damn-it!!

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The power to survive jumping form a plane as long as you have a parachute.

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The power of turning to stone everyone who says to you "will u fancy a slightly racist T-shirt?"

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The ability to anticipate the release of half-life three. Sidenote: Goes hand in hand with the ability to bathe in your own tears.

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The power to read this.

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The ability to cut oneself on objects that shouldn't, in any respect, be sharp.

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The power to see white objects in off white.

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The power to realize that your personality is like a shithole.

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The ability to fire a gun with precision accuracy. But only if your the target

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The power to pee ants.

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The Power To Become A Housefly And Be Immediately Killed By Your Mother

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The power to be Chuck Norris

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The pointless super power of take a shit in your own mouth!

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the power to control urine

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The power to see in the dark. But only if you shut your eyes.

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The power to turn anything you want green.

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the power to shit bicks

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The power to make anything taste slightly more like spit.

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the power to go on this website

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The ability to be invisible but only while playing the tambourine.

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The power to troll yourself

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Having the ability to drink bleach and not die. You only get really sick.

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The power to see through windows

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The ability to cause spiders to unpredictably materialize on your body, but only when you're sleeping or otherwise unaware of your surroundings.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!