The power to jump 1 centimeter higher than you usually can

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The power to suck your own dick but not when your horny

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The power to increase the rate of plant and fungal matter growth by 15% by staring intently at it.

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Knowing whether or not there is an afterlife

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The power to lose 7-1 to Germany

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The power to have approximate knowledge of everything.

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The power to wipe ur ass without the need of toilet paper

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The power to shrink boobs

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The power to understand this: Alucard: Father! I will stand against you! Dracula: Then it is time to kill your weak human side and join me in REMAKING THIS WORLD! (battle ensues Dracula takes a hell of a beating) Dracula: AAAAAAAARGHHHHHH! Heh... sarcasm... What is a man... if he gains the world, but loses his soul... limps away... Mark 8:36 I believe... Alucard: Father! I did not wish for you to die! Dracula: Uh I lost a sole, and the world is mine, already... Alucard: Well then lets keep fighting. Moral: Richter: YOU STEAL MENS SOLES! Dracula: The same could be said about every shoe shopper... Me: You are not gonna get this one, but if Dracula STEAL MENS SOULS! Then why would he have a soul to begin with? Its confusing... and the power to understand this is meaningless... BUT ENOUGH TALK YOU MISERABLE LITTLE PILE OF SECRETS! HAVE AT THY!

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The power to tickle somone with your mind, but only after they heard a funny joke.

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The power to uncontrollably go blind

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The power to brag about having a super power.

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The ability to blow strawberries

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The Power to Heat Food with your Mind, only when it's in a microwave.

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The power of intermittent hand seizures, at the most unfortunate of times.

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the power to make justin bieber a bad singer.

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The powert to look at people, only when you're alone.

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The power to come up with useless power while you could be doing something literally ANYTHING else

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the power to suck your elbow

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the ability to eat three tons of dirt

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The ability to make yourself rich unless you are using it on yourself...

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The ability to give the best hugs in the world to people who don't need be hugged

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Moral: THUMBS UPS SOLDIER!

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The power to be 500 feet tall, but walk at the same speed than a normal human.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!