the power to stop masturbating every day

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The power to understand this: Alucard: Father! I will stand against you! Dracula: Then it is time to kill your weak human side and join me in REMAKING THIS WORLD! (battle ensues Dracula takes a hell of a beating) Dracula: AAAAAAAARGHHHHHH! Heh... sarcasm... What is a man... if he gains the world, but loses his soul... limps away... Mark 8:36 I believe... Alucard: Father! I did not wish for you to die! Dracula: Uh I lost a sole, and the world is mine, already... Alucard: Well then lets keep fighting. Moral: Richter: YOU STEAL MENS SOLES! Dracula: The same could be said about every shoe shopper... Me: You are not gonna get this one, but if Dracula STEAL MENS SOULS! Then why would he have a soul to begin with? Its confusing... and the power to understand this is meaningless... BUT ENOUGH TALK YOU MISERABLE LITTLE PILE OF SECRETS! HAVE AT THY!

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The ability to eat the red ones last

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The power to fly only when you're already in an airplane.

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The power to convert oxygen to carbon dioxide.

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The power to disintegrate yourself

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The super power of randomly confuse the feeling of being about to sneeze and being about to shit yourself

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The power to swim on land.

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The power to speed up wallmart lines; only if your're not in it.

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The power to shit a blue agressive monkey.

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The power to give this suggestion a thubs up rating.

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The power to enhance your enemy's strength

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the ability to see as well as stevie wonder

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THE POWER TO TYPE EVERYTHING IN CAPS-LOCK

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The power to be really bad at math.

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The power to be born again

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The power to remove the power within.

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Sorry. The power to square root -1.

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The power to be so fast, that if you sprint forward you travel the whole world just in time to fuck yourself.

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The power to run super fast, but only while in space.

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The power to occasionally mistake your hand for a bear.

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The ability to de-carbonate soda

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The power to make a sound in the forest when nobody is around

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!