The power to suck your own dick, by growing and shrinking your p3nis.

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Radiation resistance inversely proportional to the amount of radiation around you.

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the power to think about old pointless super powers ideas.

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The power to shit in your eye

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The power to levitate 1 inch off the ground for 5 seconds at a time.

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The awesome power to find Waldo.

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The ability to float sideways very slowly

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The ability to piss flames.

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the power to think like a sumo wrestler between 2:30 and 3:30 am on thursdays

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The power to control sloths

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The power to melt butter with your mind when its hot outside

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The power to be the most beautiful thing ever unless someone watches you.

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Knowing whether or not there is an afterlife

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The power to get to the end of Temple Run

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The ability to be absurdly clever and funny only when you're alone.

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The ability to jump 3% lower.

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The power to see even though you can already see.

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The power to perpetually yawn.

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the power to take a poo everywhere but on the toilet

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?u?op ?p?sdn ?d?? o? ???od ???

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The ability to heal someone by trying to beat them to a pulp.

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the power to change the day to sunday at 5:59am

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The ability to have X-Ray vision that only works on glass.

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The power to have super-sweaty hands

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!