The ability to sling web like Spiderman except you can only shoot webs from your butt hole.

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The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

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The power to shrink by 23 centimetres every time you sneeze

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The power to eat soup with a fork.

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The power to communicate with nearby aliens

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The power to slow down wet paint's drying speed.

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the power to give aids. but only to one person in the world that already has aids

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The power to have a power but having a power that disables the last power.

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The ability to eat the red ones last

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The power to immediately become comatose every time you blink.

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The superpower to speak and write a language that only you know.

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The power to recite all of Encyclopedia Brown's cases in alphabetical order.

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The ability to levetate three-four inches only when you are alone in an elevator.

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The power to go into the future. Only by 1 second.

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The power to take control of cars that aren't moving.

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the ability to levitate your keft side of your body

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The power to run as fast as a snail.

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the super power to be annoying.Oh wait...*cough cough* deadpool *cough cough*

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The power to think oppositely

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the power to only bring back the dead from june 1450

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The power to be jelous of your friend's new sports car

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The power to do something for 8 hours and still have to do it the next day.

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The ability to control yourself while sleepwalking, but only when you're awake

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The power to never be surprised when the toaster goes off.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!