The power to be away from the Internet without getting bored.

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the power to type without looking at the keyboard

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The power to get older every second

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the power to fail any test you want

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The ability to turn everything to gold; as long as the original material is gold.

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The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

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The power to have two eyes that can't see very far or through anything.

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The ability to never pick up on sarcasm.

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The uncontrollable power to teleport to the places you don't want to be and every time this happens... a random fat guy barfs on you

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the power to become retarded

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the power to laugh at burials and cry at weddings

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The ability to change a light bulb with the help of a friend on the first or fourth Tuesday of every 4 four months when he has enough free time to help.

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The power to travel 60 miles an hour while inside of a vehicle.

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The power to telekinetically pick your nose and eat it.

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The power to talk to people miles away.

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The power to turn coke into pepsi

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The power to do EVERYTHING backwards

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The power to have no life and watch a whole tv series in a week.

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The ability to see through slightly dirty windows

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The power to transfer your soul into a burrito

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The power to vote in a republican democracy.

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the power to enter this website into your favorites page, so you can look up other pointless super powers in times of danger

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The power to be invisible when your eyes are closed.

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The power to be able to stop the world for two seconds only every 2 years.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!