The power to f-ck every girl in the world, read it carefully EVERY girl in the world...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

to be able to eat candybars and spit out diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +105

The power to make cheeseburgers only when your tummy is full.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

The power to have your finger and toenail grow twice as fast as normal.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

The power to RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE, only for becoming a homoerotic bodybuilder addicted to steroids made from white bull testicles, and eating so many that you eventually become a golden werewolf, a blue hedgehog or something like that...

thumb_up thumb_down -51

The power to make your nose blink.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

The ability to turn into an apple--but not be able to turn back.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

The power to be the best video game player ever but you have squeakers follow you everywhere calling you a hacker and saying there going to report you

thumb_up thumb_down +71

The power to be a fan of Rosie O'donell

thumb_up thumb_down +164

To teleport to space and then emediately suffocate.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

the ability to manually control your breathing

thumb_up thumb_down +20

The power to stop people from walking through closed doors.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

The power to eat gumbo with a fork.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

The power to swallow chewed up food.

thumb_up thumb_down -733

The power to smell thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

The Power to beat a Mairo game

thumb_up thumb_down +46

The ability to sit on air, provided you are in space.

thumb_up thumb_down -101

The power to fly at the speed of sound, but only at ground level with your eyes closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -669

the power to speak in sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

The power 2 kiss ur own ass

thumb_up thumb_down +108

The power to predict when a door will unlock.

thumb_up thumb_down +255

the ability to talk to animals, but only when discussing politics

thumb_up thumb_down +134

The ability to turn your penis into a vagina... but only if you're a straight man... and you can't change it back...

thumb_up thumb_down +112

The power to realize that at least half of the top ten "powers" are yours, and you don't know if you are proud or ashamed of having so little to do... On the bright side, you don't sign them like some other douches...

thumb_up thumb_down -587

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!