The power to make everyone else blink around you when you blink.

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The power to give ANY girl the best orgasm she will ever have, but only when in Vatnajökulsþjóðgarður, Iceland. Between the local time of 3am-3:15am.

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The power to watch grass grow

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the power to turn everything you touch into poop.

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The power to grow boobs

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The power to turn on the TV with the remote

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The ability to not freak out when your mom calls you

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The power to fly but only when touching the ground

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The power to walk after gettin kicked in the nuts

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The power to start laughing uncontrollably when someone says the word "ferret"

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To stab Djones

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The power to know which came first - The chicken or the egg.

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The ability to be invisible whenever you take a slefie

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Retractable teeth

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The power to cut onion without crying.

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The power of night-vision, but only you're in a bright place.

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LIME

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The awe-inspiring power of being able to throw up at will while yelling IMMA FIRIN' ME LAZOR.

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The power to transform you in something randomly

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the power of cosmic pimping with a space suit on!

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The power to time travel to the present moment

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The power to hear a person's thoughts, but only when they're on the toilet.

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The power to destroy any electronic device seconds after touching itoesajfaokpnhgåpesajfjåaeafjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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The power to instantly waste all your money on cheap mango chutney at will.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!