The power to bread toast!

thumb_up thumb_down -149

The power to increase the rate of plant and fungal matter growth by 15% by staring intently at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -177

The power to levitate only down stairs

thumb_up thumb_down +150

The ability to control the internet

thumb_up thumb_down +120

The ability to get aids and stay a virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

The power to hold your breath for one to two minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

A power to turn into an ant, but only one Time.

thumb_up thumb_down -192

the power to shit bicks

thumb_up thumb_down +117

The power to reverse crab walk at extremely high speeds

thumb_up thumb_down -7

The power to tickle somone with your mind, but only after they heard a funny joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

the power to not have super powers...

thumb_up thumb_down -91

The power to look what is at the back of your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -177

The power to add a minus to your bank account balance.

thumb_up thumb_down -189

Chinchilla whispering abilities

thumb_up thumb_down +34

The power to glitter in the sunlight. Especially if you're a guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -230

The ability to pee your pants at will.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

The power to come up with useless power while you could be doing something literally ANYTHING else

thumb_up thumb_down -73

The power to talk to animals only when they don't want to talk to you.

thumb_up thumb_down -159

the ability to masturbate in front of your grandma

thumb_up thumb_down +152

The power to not have superpowers

thumb_up thumb_down +74

the ability to hack, but every computer you touch crashes.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

The power to make yourself fall into a ten year coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -162

the power to hear everything in sign language and see everything in braille

thumb_up thumb_down -162

The power to be Chuck Norris's bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down -184

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!