the power to know black lives do NOT matter

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The power to die randomly,for no reason.

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My charms is my superpower, but damn I cant shut up after spending some quality time with the ladies! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! MY BODY WAS NOT READY! I feel like yelling out my real name, but you know, if you know me (I am easily recognizable) the girls I spend time with would feel like I am bragging about them, and I am not, I am simply celebrating my conquest, you see, you came, you saw... BUT I CONQUERED! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT Moral: Feel free to thumb this down, my superpowers need to be contained, or else I will beep my way to an early grave! Girls, mwah... and you know, just dodge the kiss if you cant handle love personified, they arent homing nor anything... Should I ask my doctor if she has any medications that will help me wire down after uh... Multiple female company? HAHAHAHAAAAAAH!... The thought made me kinda sad, im better, now just to prove to my company here that I got balls of steel, I am gonna post this and let you judge me all you want! BECAUSE YOU CANT HAVE EM!

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the power to hear any alvin and the chipmunks song you want, but only when you have a migraine

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The power to triple-click in the time it takes a regular human to double-click.

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The power to do anything for a klondike bar.

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The power to understand that Jesus called himself Son of man, which translates into Anderson, which makes a certain movie make a bit more sense. Moral: THIS IS MY WORLD MISTER ANDERSON! MY WOOOOOORLD!

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the power to die tomorrow morning.

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The ability to sweat caramel

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The power to remember your past failures and all the pain you ever received every time you close your eyes. And you have no appossable thumbs.

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The power to go part way through walls

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The power to instantaneously teleport in front of your mom each time you masturbate.

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The power to possess every pointless superpower and be tasked with saving the world.

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The ability to fart with out smellling it only the others around you

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to create balloons out of anywhere on your body, and twist them into whatever you look at.

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Knowing whether or not there is an afterlife

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The power to swim as fast as Sonic The Hedgehog

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The ability to break all of your bones when you see any person

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being able to turn lead into dolphins.

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Gay mens power to making straight women like them...

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The power to see through objects, thus not seeing anything.

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The power to feel like your starving and everything tastes like crap.

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The power to get addicted to any drug ever unless you constantly use them.

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the power to fly indoors

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!