The ability to have pockets in your skin that can only fit carrots.

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to shrink smaller than oxygen molecules

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The power to become extremely strong and intelligent by being in contact with substances such as: -Kryptonite -Adamantium -Any acid that can melt trough glass -A gallon of moose sperm ( you must be submerged)

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the power to see moving objects farther than they actually are.

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the power to become friends with your least favorite teacher on facebook.

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i remember coming up with one once, the ability to flash step, like teleportation, but it uses up the same amount of wear and tear on your body(and clothing/footwear) and stamina as if you walked a straight line there (say you were Stepping to the top of mount everest, the same amount of physical exhaustion and bodily wear and tear as if you tilted the earth, laid a flat board to the summit, and walked across it, and untilting the earth, all in an instant). where the only convenience obtained is time saved, but there would also be the issue of being constantly exhausted, the near limitless amounts of food needed to be consumed, and the constant need for sleep would make this power essentially useless except for convenience, you COULD say this is similar to stopping time, but with far more limitations, as its only used for moving from one place to another

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The Power to realize the Chuck Norris is overrated, not funny, not that strong, old, over used and anyone who tells a Chuck Norris joke is not funny and never will be, has no future as a comedian or any future at all and will die having not accomplished anything in life.

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the power to win the crying game

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The power to shoot milk through your eyes

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the power to be incredibly charming and witty but only around old people and little children.

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the power to know black lives do NOT matter

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The power to walk through air.

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The power to speak in Braille

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The power to sing but your mute

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The power to fly at Mach 3 but only if your in the air, but too bad cuz the power comes at a cost which is making you weigh 21 more tons than you used to weigh.

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the power to die tomorrow morning.

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the power to make toast into bread

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The power to walk on water. But only when it's less than an inch deep.

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The power to make yourself get a cramp at will.

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The power to poop anytime you want to.(technically its an okay power cause when you need to poop you could poop in another time). so my friend thought of one and he said: The power to die anytime but you still get old and you get to be like a 200 hundred year old man/woman and have the capability of their age so basically just die when your 90.

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The power to transform any valuable rock into celery

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The power to resurrect, but only in an electric chair in Texas.

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Knowing whether or not there is an afterlife

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The power to be the most attractive person ever but only in complete darkness.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!