- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

To be able to run the speed of light but only works if your standing still?.

the power to read this sentence

The power to live in lava, but only when your cold

The ability to go to hell.

The power of learning

The power to shoot glue from your penis

The power to turn a light on with your mind, but only if the light is already on

The power to know when to hold them, but not know when to fold them.

The power to exaggerate everything, a power a billion, trillion overly trabillion times more powerful than anything, like 3000000 Chuck Norrises, except they are all weak in comparison to this power.

The power to be caught sniffing your sisters panties and get punished by having her crotch forced up and down yours while your mother licks your balls.

The power to turn into an exploding pink chair.

The power to instantly make an accurate assessment on tomorrow's hangover probability well before you've consumed far more than the amount of alcohol which would guarantee it...and yet manage to forget sometimes you have this superpower.

the power to never be able to draw a straight line with a ruler

the power to fail at everything you do

the power to get a massive headache whenever you look at toast

The power to be gay on command.

The power to turn any object into food

The power to crap without pissing.

The power to be invulnerable while sleeping

the power to burp every time you drink 1 litre of soda/fizzy

The ability to understand everything about a language after 100 years of intense studying when you could be doing something more interesting.

The power to change your urine to any color

The power to only be obesely fat.

The power to make Thursday come before Friday and after Wednesday.

Pointless Super Powers