The power to assassinate already-dead leaders

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The power to laugh so hard you can't breath at "Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?" Jokes.

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the power to be immortal, but only temporally

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The power to be able to taste shit from miles away.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to see your reflection with The Mirror

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The power to only be obesely fat.

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The power to chew with your tongue

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The power to autocorrect your mom.

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the ability to do see through any girl's clothes but you must be singing a Demi Lovato song at 76.786 Decibels EXACTLY!

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the power to make rotten food go good again, but only if it's exactly 2 months, 4 days, 9 hours and 13 minutes old.

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The power to wiggle your big toe whenever you have a car accident with a baby gorilla on the passenger seat every other Thursday of every other leap year.

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the power to make coffee room temperature by touching it

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The power to die

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The power to never come into existence

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The power to turn invisible, in pitch darkness

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the power to stare at someone without blinking or smiling for ever

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be a massive dickhead, like thomas bull

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The power to erect your nipples at will.

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the ability to do 3 backflips in a row when no one is looking

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The power to have super lungs, but be deathly allergic to air.

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The power to turn invisible but only different parts of the body and happens at random times of the day.

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The ability to make children cry whenever they see you.

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a power to turn liquid into goo!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!