- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

The power to think of epic jokes but only at funerals

The power to even

The power to grow a mustache anywhere but on your face

The ability to fall into 1cm cubed pieces when startled. No ability to pull yourself together, or move while in cubes. Parts must be reassembled correctly to re-connect.

yo mama

The power to fight Chuck Norris... and lose.

the power to run at the speed of light, but you have no protection from the air friction so you'll burn up and die.

The power to breath under water but only if you're holding your breath

The power to summon your mom so you can prove she's not as fat as the chav in front of you is saying she is

the power to poop every 5 minutes

the power to read your own mind

The power to be afraid of horses.

the power to hear everything in sign language and see everything in braille

The power to give yourself the most intense orgasm of all time at will, but it only lasts for a millisecond.

The power to become attractive to women. but only when your with elderly people and Sarah Palin.

The ability to get free housing for at least 25 years after running over your neighbor.

The power to telepathically open umbrellas, only open and only umbrellas.

The power to be invincible......... only when you are not in danger or harm.

the power to travel 1-day into the future by waiting 24 hours

The power to be able to vote for Donald Trump

The power to have one eyebrow!?

The power to create a slight aroma of cucumbers

The power to eat McDonald's in Wendy's.

the power to summon a pen, once

Pointless Super Powers