- Pointless Super Powers

The power to be powerless

The power to cause weeds to grow twice as fast as usual in your bed of prized petunias.

The ability to stretch your arm towards an object thats in a reachable distance then clench your hand around the object and pull it to yourself.

the power to be physically attracted to the same sex

The power to ignore useful information

The ability to know when, and which elevator door will open first.

The power to fry and suffer harder than anyone when lit on fire.

the power to fail at everything you do

The power to create a unicorn online.

The power to laugh when you tickle your feet

The power of measuring grains of corn from a large distance.

being black

The power to be gay on command.

the power to hover an inch above the ground once every month.

The power to die after life has left you old and decrepit.

The power to make any glass of water into milk

the power to do a backflip but only if you break your neck in the process

The power to fly inside of airplanes

Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

The power to predict the present

The ability to see the future through the eyes of people you don't know in places you can never go while you are doing life threatening work.

Justin Bieber

The power to summon fire with the use of a match

The power to explode when someone looks at you and regenerate in 10 minute after exploding but you can only regenerate from exploding.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!