The power to be powerless

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The ability to stretch your arm towards an object thats in a reachable distance then clench your hand around the object and pull it to yourself.

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The power to cause weeds to grow twice as fast as usual in your bed of prized petunias.

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the power to be physically attracted to the same sex

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The power to ignore useful information

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The ability to know when, and which elevator door will open first.

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The power to laugh when you tickle your feet

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the power to fail at everything you do

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The power to create a unicorn online.

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The power to fry and suffer harder than anyone when lit on fire.

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The power of measuring grains of corn from a large distance.

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being black

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The power to be gay on command.

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The power to die after life has left you old and decrepit.

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the power to do a backflip but only if you break your neck in the process

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The power to make any glass of water into milk

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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The power to predict the present

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The power to fly inside of airplanes

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Justin Bieber

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The ability to see the future through the eyes of people you don't know in places you can never go while you are doing life threatening work.

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The power to summon fire with the use of a match

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The power to explode when someone looks at you and regenerate in 10 minute after exploding but you can only regenerate from exploding.

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the power to make my 8==D go 8=D 8===D 8=D 8===D.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!