The ability to talk really loud on your phone while in public areas.

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The powers to blink at the speed of light

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the power to suck at absolutly everything you do, except at failing.

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The power to disguise as an old woman but only with a proper costume and 20 minutes of time in a bathroom to get the make-up done properly.

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The power to convert metric to imperial

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The power to get you`re dick stuck to a huge, heavy metal bar no one can lift nor move, either you stay there till you die, or you grab a knife and...

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The ability to look at someone and know the exact number of times they have farted in the past year.

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The power to urinate in any color- even rainbow color!

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I'm a giant di

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The power to fall down stairs sooner than you should have.

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The power to shrink without the power to return to normal size

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The power to summon Pedobear and only if you are under 10.

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Ability to be Stephen Hawking's stunt double.

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The power to grow the pinky nail of your right hand

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The power to teleport massive objects one inch above your head.

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Power to come up with an idea you have recently heard of.

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The power to teleport to Mars, but only when your not wearing a helmet and you must stay there for a maximum of one hour.

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The ability to shed one's skin like a snake.

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The power to jerk off with no hands.

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THE POWER TO BE INVISIBLE WHEN NO ONE IS LOOKING...

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the power of milking a cow aslong it is a horse that you are milking. the power to ride a bull for 0.55 nanoseconds. the power to kill 1 bacteria every 20 min. the power to spread herpes without having symptoms. the power of sharing awkward details of your bowel movements to your family at dinner. the power to lift a small cup of water. the power of falling of your face whilst knowing it will happen 20sec before. the power of inhibiting passage on the curb. the power to cause massive traffic jams without owning a car. the power of listening but not understanding. the power of understanding all languages but the one that is being spoken to you at the time.

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the power to get married

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the ability to add edges to any circle on anything that you can write on

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the power to hold your breath 0.01 seconds longer than the average human

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!