the power to die

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The power to shape-shift only into a human

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The power to turn invisible, in pitch darkness

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The ability to make your heart teleport.

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the power to listen to dead people that speak a different language than you.

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on it .....

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The ability to instantly turn 360 degrees.

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The ability to produce a nickle each time you smack you`re face on any hard surface so hard you break at least 6 bones.

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the power to sing like a pro but only when in a bathroom or when autotune is involved...

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The power to vomit pizza and root beer chunks at will.

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the power to get fat in America

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The ability to read your own mind

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THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

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The ability to quit smoking by giving yourself lung, heart, and throat cancer, coupled with enphysema.

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The power to live forever until you die a natural way or get killed.

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The superpower to attract harm to yourself with twice the damage.

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The ability to transform yourself into a Turkey but only with a brain larger than the head of a turkey. Note: People will become happy if they eat you for christmas.

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the power to be blind, but only if you're blind

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The power to teleport all gold to criminals and or teleport criminals to gold

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open up pickles glass

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The power to laugh at other people when they get hurt, and still be able to have high esteem in front of all your friends.

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the power to sing amazingly but only when someone is 158,00000000000 times louder

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The power to speak in only anime openings

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The power to generate electricity, unfortunately, you're not resistant to it.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!