you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

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The power to see through things but you can't turn it off once turned on.

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The power to shoot rainbows out of your dick, the rainbows can pwn anyone if you smoked crack before using this power

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The ability to unknowingly untaim domestic animals.

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Liam Brudenell

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the power to be Justin bieber

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The power to become a fish for 10 hours on dry land

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The power to turn into the Hulk, but only when you are asleep.

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The power to melt plastic by standing perfectly still for a month.

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Power that makes you perfect in being useless

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the power to cook sandwiches when married

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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the power to run in slow motion

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The power to become famous on vine

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the power to feel pain whenever you breathe

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The power to hover a milimeter off solid ground when performing a walking motion.

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The power to never die unless you become sick, injured, or breathe through your nose:/

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The ability to make slightly off colored flags of any country that can not be used in combat.

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The ability to grow breasts once a year.

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The power to feel the emotions of the dead ones

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The power to think of food

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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The power to be any animal you want, but only if you are that specific animal that you want to be.

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The power to kill you self.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!