the ability to turn things purple by touching it.

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The power to autocorrect your mom.

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The ability to transform yourself into a Turkey but only with a brain larger than the head of a turkey. Note: People will become happy if they eat you for christmas.

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The power to have all of your genes inherited from your parents

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The ability to turn your penis into a vagina... but only if you're a straight man... and you can't change it back...

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The power to ramble on and on endlessly with no end in sight with the most inane of thoughts that no one can begin to guess when they will end or what the value or goal of anything so long-winded might be until you find yourself questioning your very desire to go living if you are only going to continue rambling.

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Read fortune cookies without opening them

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The power to be powerless.

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The power to turn on a hot flash, but only when it's 80 degrees out.

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The power to sleep with your eyes open.

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The power to be in any position, and still be comfortable.

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The power to become encased in concrete at will.

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The ability too shit out calculators every 10 seconds.

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the power to fly but only during a severe hail storm

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The power to communicate with dust bunnies.

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the ability to die on command

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Tah Puwir tu wright currectili

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The power to climb trees really fast, but they shrink when you do.

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The power to play a snippet of Darude-Sandstorm whenever you inhale or exhale.

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the power to travel 1-day into the future by waiting 24 hours

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The power to have a photogenic memory (You look really good in every memory of yourself)

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the power to read this sentence

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the power to read when you're not looking at any word or symbol

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The problem to spit bars like a white person with autism

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!