Having the power to stand still

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The power to make Dylan Zona trip on everything when he walks and falls face first I to a pile of shit

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the power to transform into Kanye West

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The power to do back flips whenever you want to but only in your mind.

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The power to elect George W Bush.

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To be able to go to the future but only at 1 second per second.

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The power to find something that isn't in the last place you look.

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The power to make your girlfriend orgasm only when you are having sex with another man.

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The ability to push "pull" doors, and pull "push" doors.

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The power to have two eyes that can't see very far or through anything.

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The power to re grow hair as soon as it gets cut off.

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The ability to shed one's skin like a snake.

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the ability to fly 5 centimeters above ground

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The power to be an ugly barnacle who is so ugly that everyone dies.

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The power to use a ridiculous signature that kills any chance of receving green thumbs. Moral: What you talking bout foo?

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The power to come up with the most funny joke ever made but forget the punch-line when ever you try to tell someone.

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The power to suck a golf ball through a garden hose

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The power to see in the dark only when the lights are on

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The power to stop moral man from writing morals under every comment... Moral: The damn CIA cant go trough my battlestation, because I use this computer via proxy and can change my IP at will, so you literally would have to blow up the anti-bomb shelters in Micronesia and thus kill a key element of the pirate bay... And who would want that... buy your own music and movies? Download your own games? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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The power to play a snippet of Darude-Sandstorm whenever you inhale or exhale.

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Tah Puwir tu wright currectili

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The power to speak only in hashtags. #awkward

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The power to regenerate, but only small cuts

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The power to bet on the fastest horse in the track at a formula 1 competition. Moral: RUN FORREST RUUUUUUN!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!