to be one second faster than 5mph in any 80's arcade game using one finger to push the buttons

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the power to hear a dog whistle

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The power to vomit every time you burp.

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The power to swear if you do not believe in a God. Moral: Meh... if I post anything against God here you guys will thumb me down and that matters... it matters so much that I will use the section over to shit talk God... yeah... thumb me down already fearing zealots... show me your true power (being Gods bitches) now that is pointless power!

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The power to make your left hand glow whenever you put your right hand up your ass.

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The ability to cure polio, but only within U.S. borders.

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The power to burn the sun.

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The ability to not drop anything ...when you're not holding anything

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The power of HONOR AND LOVE! Moral: it wont make you honorable, or lovable by the way.

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The power to turn into wood once you go inside a wood chipper.

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The ability to be born, live for about 75 years and then die.

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the power to become phil collins, but only after peter gabrial left

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The power to remember the funniest thing in the world and have a full on laughing fit, as long as you are at a funeral.

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The power to assassinate already-dead leaders

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The power to make remotes invisible

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The power to change your urine to any color

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the power to fall at 9.9m per second.

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The power to turn aluminum foil into tin foil.

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The power to die

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The power to uncontrollably say "thats what she said" whenever it is possible, even if its really shitty

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The power to win any game against a 5-year-old.

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The power to bake cakes precisely 2.7% faster than usual.

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The power to fly really fast but only in closets.

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The power of tasting irresistibly delishush whenever anyone gets hungry.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!