The power to single handily tear one sheet of toilet paper from the roll

thumb_up thumb_down +79

The power to fuck your moms pussy at will (her opinion or desire means nothing to the will of your useless superpower!). Moral: SONS OF SICKMAN FRAUD REJOICE!

thumb_up thumb_down +79

The power to give yourself a migraine at will.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

The power to be gangsta, only in front of true gangsta's.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

The power to write about pointless superpowers.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

the power of losing and getting in 2nd place or 3th. the power of clearing your mind only for it to stay blank. the power of riding a horse really well aslong as you think it is a cow. the power of breathing AIR. the power of bellyflopping cement. the power of reading ancient arameîc. the power of speaking perfect gibberish.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

The power to make your nose blink.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

The power of super farts, which doesn't work unless you probably breathe, by super farts I also mean really really really stinky long farts..

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +71

The power to see through walls, but only when you're in a glass room.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

the power to fly, but only when you are in a plane that is already flying. inflight flight

thumb_up thumb_down +69

The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

The ability to create your own reflection on any reflective surface.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

The power to listen to Meghan Straight talk

thumb_up thumb_down +61

The power to autocorrect your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Ability to emit a low-level light, but only when standing near a candle.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

The power to sing like Justin Beiber.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

The ability to talk to deer, only while riding one.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

what do you call someone who never says hello............................ a shy person

thumb_up thumb_down +57

The ability to find a use for High School Algebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

the power to sit

thumb_up thumb_down +53

to eat a pie and get to fart an apple (cus why not)

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Each time to show up on daily live TV each time you are masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

The power to create skype chats with 50 people and subsequently annoy all of them with 200+ messages per second. unfortunately neither you nor anybody can block, silence or leave the chat

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!