the power to extend commercial time while your in the bathroom

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That F-ucking ass hole that keeps typing morals all the time, he is F`n annoying! Moral: You thought I was a hater eh? Hahaha got you there ;) And if that is not the most pointless pointlessity in the world, then... I give shit about thumbs ups really, they just discovered that I have an bad allergy to dust, and thus I have been unable to work out for TWO YEARS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Me so happy, me love you long time. That is what women usually say to me, instead that they change the happy with horny... and replace you with someone else`s name. Self Irony... such a delight... and maybe I am lying... who knows... who wants to know? Nobody? :( sob... excellent! :D Damn CATCHPHRA! I SWEAR I USED TO HAVE A KITTEN THAT WAS TWICE THE SIZE OF TEXAS!

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To be able to generate cancer at will

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The power of omnipotence and omniscience but you work in such mysterious ways that youre both invisible and intangible and without will to do skwat. Oh wait that sounds like...

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The power to uncontrollably fart when your with your girlfriend

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the power to break the nib of a pencil so that its pointless

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The power think five times slower.

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The power to completely understand Monty Python sketches.

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The ability to headbutt yourself in the face.

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The power to be immortal until the moment that you would die.

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The power to die every time you are standing on something.

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The power to die at will

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The ability to pull Bleach Flavored lighter fluid out of your ass every time you see a modern feminist or a Jacob Satorious video

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The power uncontrollably self destruct when you feel safe.

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The power to iron your clothes with your mind before putting it in the washing machine

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The power to pronounce the word "rural."

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The ability to look at someone and die.

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power to age faster

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The power to make anyone you see look surprise.

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The power to cause weeds to grow twice as fast as usual in your bed of prized petunias.

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the power to see everything as if it were a 1 year olds dralling.

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The power to be really offensive after you finished a sentence U FUKING JAP

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The power to teleport yourself anywhere you want except for your major organs.

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the power to sleep with any woman, unless your a man

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!