The power to iron your clothes with your mind before putting it in the washing machine

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The power to teleport stupid people away from you - but they teleport to YOUR HOUSE.

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The power to detect homosexuality in animals. ~scramjat

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The power to shoot glue from your penis

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The power to stand up and do what's right, save people, restore order, preserve life, maintain balance and create peace but the lack of motivation to do so.

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The power to give the wrong directions

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The power to drink as much tequila as you want without dying.

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The power to fuck your moms pussy at will (her opinion or desire means nothing to the will of your useless superpower!). Moral: SONS OF SICKMAN FRAUD REJOICE!

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The power to jump over any fence no matter how high! Good luck surviving the fall.

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The power to surround yourself in fire, but only when you're underwater.

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The power to instant nose-bleed, but not be able to stop it.

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The power of super farts, which doesn't work unless you probably breathe, by super farts I also mean really really really stinky long farts..

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THE POWER OF PEDOBEAR!!!!! but only when theres law enforcement around

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The power to have 99 problems, except your dog... if she is female.

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have the power of making chicken appear when your a vegan

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the power to sleep while standing!

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the power to shoot fireballs only when your underwater

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The power to sneeze out of your mouth and cough out of your nose.

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The power to write about pointless superpowers.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to do unto others as you do unto yourself

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The power to magically generate drugs in your pockets, but only while being arrested or in a police station.

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The power to make school 24 hours , and making vacations for 30 minutes.

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The ability to see into the present.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!