The power to laugh so hard you can't breath at "Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?" Jokes.

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The ability to control dairy products

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The power of omniscience but it causes a near fatal heart attack every time you think.

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The power to fly, but only fly north

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The power think five times slower.

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The power to make Macs appear instantly, but be unable to left-click on them.

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The ability to understand everything about a language after 100 years of intense studying when you could be doing something more interesting.

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The power to make only right turns. take THAT nascar!

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The power to transform into a paralysed turtle with half its shell missing

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The power to have razor sharp facial hair.

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the power to melt your bones

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The ability to stop farting so that you blow up like a balloon that eventually bursts.

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the ability to discern homophobic, racist, and mysoginistic posts on this site from the actually ok ones.. oh wait this is useful STOP BEING A JACKASS

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The power to create skype chats with 50 people and subsequently annoy all of them with 200+ messages per second. unfortunately neither you nor anybody can block, silence or leave the chat

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the power to teleport but then immediatly cr@p your pants

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The Power to Breath When Ur dead

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The power to control any O-shaped piece of metal.

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the power to see 3 seconds into the past.

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The power to blink, but only if polline gets in your eye.

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The power to find any film directed by Uwe Boll entertaining.

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The power to transform your foreskin into rusty iron.

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The power to pick any lock as long as its open

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The power to eat soup with a fork.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!