kabloooeeey!!!

The power to make coma patients bark.

The power to be really bad at CSGO

The power to invent things as soon as you see them

The power to be able to teleport through a random fat man's colon.

The power to sleep and never be disturbed.

The power to lick any telephone pole to call somebody in the winter.

The power to dance excellently each time there is music... either you want to or not.

The power to change traffic signals to anything that is not beneficial to you.

The power to be an ugly barnacle who is so ugly that everyone dies.

The power to defeat Chuck Norris but only if you can reach the speed of light

the power to be blind, but only if you're blind

The power to pull any woman that just asked you for a shag.

The power to always get caught by the scooby doo gang

The power to open doors the opposite way they were made to open.

The ability to be blind, deaf, and mute at will.

The ability to go forward in time for 1 second but the process of going forward takes 1 second.

The power to run Crysis.

The power to not constantly thumb my comments up or down, whichever. Moral: Energy spent on me, is energy well spent! Stay proud and walk tall soldier!

The power to row 1 inch shorter but can't grow 1 inch taller

The power to fly but only in your room

the power to read when you're not looking at any word or symbol

The power to die at will

the power to run at the speed of light, but you have no protection from the air friction so you'll burn up and die.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!