The power of hindsight

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The power to completely understand Monty Python sketches.

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The power to bet on the fastest horse in the track at a formula 1 competition. Moral: RUN FORREST RUUUUUUN!

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The power to read your own mind

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The ability to die, when you say: "death powers activate!" . You can only do it once though.

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The power to eat sandwiches and never get full

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The "helpers" you call during emergencies when they where new and a itsy bit unorganized... misunderstandings easily showed up part 1: The Firemen: Why the hell did you call us if this place is already on fire? Call the damn Watermen THEN! The Watermen: Sorry we only receive calls and help people that are drowning, try the Firemen or something... The Cops: Crime in the city? Sorry our work is to COP OUT of stuff, Try the Police or something...

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The power to be immortal until the moment that you would die.

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The power to deconstruct molecules, but only when they're part of an object with a volume of 1 cubic millimeter.

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The power to take edible shits.

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The ability to pull Bleach Flavored lighter fluid out of your ass every time you see a modern feminist or a Jacob Satorious video

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the power to have 20/20 vision only when wearing aviators

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The power to know when to hold them, but not know when to fold them.

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The power uncontrollably self destruct when you feel safe.

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The power to be really offensive after you finished a sentence U FUKING JAP

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The ability to sweat poop.

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the power to sleep with any woman, unless your a man

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The power grow arm pit hair 5 times faster and 5 times longer than it was after shaving.

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The ability to kill anyone, only if he/she is your close friend.

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The power to handle the truth. Moral: Because with the exception of a few good men... YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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the power to turn food into shit

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The power to stand up and do what's right, save people, restore order, preserve life, maintain balance and create peace but the lack of motivation to do so.

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The power to read terms and conditions

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The power to shrink boobs by merely touching them.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!