The power to jump 3% higher than the average human,

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The power to control mealworms

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The power to be on mars. Not survive, not go between mars and earth. You could just instantaneously be on mars, then probably die.

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The power to grab a cup of purple drank, Then drink it

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The power to become mentally retarded only when you get an erection.

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The power to produce fingernails at will that people can eat.

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The power to not write pointless powers.

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The power to pee poop

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The power to create a pointless superpower

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The power to breath Oxygen

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The power to uncontrollably fart when your with your girlfriend

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The power to fly 0 feet in 60 seconds

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The power to turn shades of brown or red, but only when exposed to the sun for an extended amount of time.

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the power of breath 10 times per second of you will die

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The power to kill yourself

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the power to write about pointless super powers in universes that nothing exists.

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The power to read 20 pages of pointless superpowers, but only during science class

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the power to produce millions of dollars but be stranded on a deserted island!

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The power to grow more genitals.

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the power to see through people's clothing when they're naked

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The power to expel a slight breeze after inhaling.

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The power to wish you had a power

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the power to turn food into shit

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!