The power to do anything else but worship me. Moral: I DEMAND SATISFACTION! I mean I dont need it, I just want you to do something useful with your life for once... That practically makes me into a saint... Aww.... Steve Jobs No More... LOOOOOOOLLLIPOP!

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The ability to grow breasts once a year.

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To be able to commit a sexual offense but never get away with it

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The power to turn on electronic devices without pressing the switch, but only when you're touching the switch.

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01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110000 01101111 01110111 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01100100 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001

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The power to get off the internet and do something productive

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The power to know the word for potato in every human language... including binary (011100000110111101110100011000010111010001101111)

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The ability to turn into a really comfortable chair FOREVER.

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The power to think that you can fly when you wear a cape.

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The power to think of powers someone else has already come up with

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The power to shit diamonds, but only into magical underwear that turn diamonds into shit.

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The power to never receive pop-ups when surfing porn, but only on gay porn

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The power to have a %90 chance of dying every single second.

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The power to poop without wiping

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The power to grow a money tree once every 5 years that grows 1 penny every 10 years.

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the power to have a combination lock, and forget the code

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The power to not look up silly websites on the internet

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swear words -jesse

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The power to pick any lock as long as its open

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The power to be number one, unless someone was better than you.

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The ability to digest three types of earth elementals

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The power to read any captcha, but no longer be able to type.

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the power to convert oxygen and glucose to water and carbon dioxide every time you breathe.

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The power to lift animate objects in the same direction.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!