The power to finish right before you start (If you know what I mean)

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The power to get arrested

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The ability to talk to anybody in the world, as long as they are within your eyesight.

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The power to turn a light on with your mind, but only if the light is already on

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The power to make it impossible to have powers

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The power to remove cancer from stroke victim's bodies.

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The ability to metamorphose into any kind of cheese

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The power to shoot glue from your penis

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The power to read terms and conditions

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The power to be so fast, that if you sprint forward you travel the whole world just in time to fuck yourself.

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The power of super farts, which doesn't work unless you probably breathe, by super farts I also mean really really really stinky long farts..

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the power of losing and getting in 2nd place or 3th. the power of clearing your mind only for it to stay blank. the power of riding a horse really well aslong as you think it is a cow. the power of breathing AIR. the power of bellyflopping cement. the power of reading ancient arameîc. the power of speaking perfect gibberish.

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The power to write about pointless superpowers.

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The Power of your footstep sounding like a horse gallop

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Justin Bieber

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The power to not think of a productive power.

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The power to eat anything, but always vomit 15 minutes later.

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the power to see the present

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The ability to pee while standing up for men

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to use internet explorer at a moderate working speed

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The ability to see into the present.

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Each time to show up on daily live TV each time you are masturbating.

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the power to make sounds by vibrating your vocal cords.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!