The power to teleport stupid people away from you - but they teleport to YOUR HOUSE.

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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To be immortal, but injuries do not heal and the pain is 100 times more intense

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The power to stand up and do what's right, save people, restore order, preserve life, maintain balance and create peace but the lack of motivation to do so.

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The Power to enjoy Justin Beiber's music....

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the power to summon a massive midget

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The power to feel like you're gonna sneeze forever

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The power to instant nose-bleed, but not be able to stop it.

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To be able to immediately know the name of anything you see

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the power to turn yourself into a toaster. once,

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The power to fly 3 inches.

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The power to have a great singing voice, but only in the shower,

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The power to turn into a pineapple that can teleport into a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died because of a pine apple that was in a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died.

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The power to jerk off without using your hands

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The power to see you're self in a mirror

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The power to drink clean water (because i think dirty water is ewwy)

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The power of self-propelled flight, but only when you're the President of the United States.

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the power to be on fire always.(even when u are in water)

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The power to give others the power to give others the same power at will.

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the power to die on the spot

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Aweonao

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the power to disinfect wigs.

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The power to blame Indonesian children for your misfortunes.

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The power to recite all of Encyclopedia Brown's cases in alphabetical order.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!