The ability to turn into a slightly damp sponge

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The ability to walk on water, but only if you're Jesus

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The power to think of the worst superpower.

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The ability to grow and retract your hair at will, but cutting it will remove the ability.

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The power to not go to wor unless it's a work day and to not fell pain unless you get hurt.

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The power to fly 2mm above the ground

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The power to change your emotions at will.

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the ability to turn things purple by touching it.

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the power to fly but only if your feet are touching the ground

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The power to cheat on your wife with your wife only if shes on her period

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Having the power to stand still

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The power to stop typing about the power. IT'S OVER 9000.

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The power to smell a fart before someone lets it out.

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the ability to grow your nails at will.

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Super-slowness

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The power to shrink without the power to return to normal size

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The ability to breathe and swallow at the same time.

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The power to eat razorblades, but only when covered in a mixture of antifreeze, bile and tabasco sauce.

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The ability to teleport 0.00000000000000007 seconds in the past

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The power to run super fast, but only while in space.

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The power to watch Netflix instead of writing a thesis paper.

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The power to reverse walk backwards.

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the power to tolerate alex simpson

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The power to have a godlike super human strength but it only activates during a REM sleep cycle.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!