The ability to recognize any meme at will.

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The power to fell pain 3 minutes after it happens.

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The power to ejaculate

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The power to turn delicious and tasteful food into useless brown mush.

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The ability to type with your penis on your smart phone during a video chat.

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The power to turn trollface by yelling "TROLLFACE ACTIVATE!" You can turn human-face again by yelling "XYGNEFAGINTHYCHRSICXAIOXJIEHJFEIHFIGHEÅÆELFKEÆKFÆEFKEÆAKFÆEAFKÆAFKEÆAFKOÆEFOKEÆFKAÆEA" For a year in exact correct spelling/pronunciation.

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The power to regenerate, but only small cuts

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the power to eat bread

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The ability to change your weight

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The power to turn gourmet meals into shit.

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The power to reseal bottles!

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The power to put your finger in your brain, but doing so kills you and achieves nothing.

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the power to make a fart that kills people when no one is around you

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The power to enter a car, but only if the car is out of gas.

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the power to spit long distances at inconvenient times

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The power to die using only your mind.

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The power to crash land ANY vehicle you steer/control. "Hah finally I got a tank! OMG ITS GAINING SPEED ON ITS OWN IN FRONT OF THAT GIANT RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMP!

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the power to write amazingly neat but only with invisible ink

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the power to make rotten food go good again, but only if it's exactly 2 months, 4 days, 9 hours and 13 minutes old.

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The power to jump higher than a speeding bullet and run faster than a tall building.

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the power to turn a care package on black ops from dogs to ammo

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the power to have a combination lock, and forget the code

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The power to gain 50 dollars every daybut have to pay 75 back every 12 hours.

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The power to travel back and forth in time by pressing your left elbow against your right armpit. It really works! Try it!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!