EntirelyTooManyNapkins Man

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the power of breath 10 times per second of you will die

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The power to summon Wolverine, but only so he can give you a colonoscopy.

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a children's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a chi...ldren's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The power to turn yourslef into a suicide bomber just as he blows himself up

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to die when you are happy

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The power to push "pull" doors

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The power to instantaneously change the grain of wood

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The power to complete a 100m race in exactly 100 seconds.

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The power to get this. Do you get it?

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the power to finish your plate of veggies when ever you like.

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The power of making your tits smaller

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The power to f-ck every girl in the world, read it carefully EVERY girl in the world...

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The power to be superman with no power's

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The power to become the best player in every Moral Kombat game there is. Test your Morals... TSHHH, test your morals TSHHH MORAL KOMBAT! Mortal: FEAR THE WRATH OF MORAL KAHN!

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The power to turn acute triangles into equilateral triangles.

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The power to transform yourself into a perfect copy of your mother.

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The power to breathe through your mouth when you have a stuffy nose

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The power to speak only one language

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The ability for your penis to tie itself into a knot.

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The power to bleed on command

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The power to throw-up purple cheese curds on command, but you are also allergic to purple cheese curds?

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The power to spell-check or at least reread what you're about to post.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!